You were a year of independence, of growth, of peace, a year of love. You brought me genuine friendships and abundant laughter. You were also a year that brought hardship, challenges, heartache and confusion. Ultimately, you brought me me. Not the me that anyone else wants me to be, but who I always dreamed of being. Yes, I am still healing. No, I am not perfect in any way. I am simply living out the life that I want for myself.
At the beginning of this year I wrote a list of goals that i would like to accomplish. Some fairly vague and common, others more specific and directed. When I first reflected on that list I was discouraged. After taking a step back I see that although those were things I would have liked to have done, I accomplished much more. If I was able to tell myself the things that this year held, I guarantee that list would be dramatically different. Even though sometimes I question this, I am still the same person I was at the beginning of the year. I am just healthier, more intentional and much, much happier.
If I leave this decade with one simple lesson it would be this: Often times things may not happen the way we planned because there is much more beyond the limits we set for ourselves. It is for that reason I got a tattoo this year that says “without limits”. That is also why I changed the name of this blog. This has been a year of taking leaps, pushing the boundaries and sharing my dreams even when they may scare the hell out of me. There has not been a time this year that doing so has not paid off. The outcome may be different than I expected but it has resulted in beautiful stories of pain and of growth.
With that I say thank you, 2019. You were a pivotal year in my life and I will forever be thankful for where you have brought me. The people who have came into my life and even those who have left, have blessed me in ways I am still unable to comprehend. One year ago I would have never thought it’d be possible for me to love so deeply, fall so freely or ache so badly. For every emotion, good or bad, I count myself grateful, for they have made me who I am today and led me to those who love me well in return.
Looking forward to the year to come, my heart wells up with excitement. This year, instead of a list of things to accomplish, I give myself one simple goal. In 2020, I will continually make strides toward being the best version of myself, for myself and for all those around me. It is impossible to know the adventures to come but I stand here, arms spread wide ready to receive them all.
Megan Ray ❤